Gloria Keeling grew up in Tooele, Utah; her dad was a bishop in the Mormon church.
“Growing up, I really liked [church],” she said. But, “I don’t think I understood anything [about Mormon beliefs] because they don’t really encourage you to question stuff.” When she was in the Mormon church, Gloria didn’t question her beliefs; she accepted all the things she had always been taught. But after she got married and moved away from Utah, the love in a mainstream Christian church caused her to lean in that direction.
For a while, Gloria and her husband attended both a Mormon church and a mainstream Christian church. Suffering from extreme depression, she even had to be hospitalized. “A lot of Mormons do struggle with depression,” because the faith causes one to feel very guilty.
“I just felt like I was going to hell,” Gloria said. People would tell her that she was going to hell. “I was hearing the truth [in the Christian church],” she said, “but I was really defensive.”
Having always felt depressed and guilty because she believed she had to earn her salvation, Gloria was relieved by love and grace she found in mainstream Christianity. The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints teaches that in order to get to the highest levels of heaven, one must do specific good works. Mainstream Christians, however, believe that salvation is a free gift of God (Ephesians 2:8-9). To Gloria, this difference was huge.
“[My emotional health] changed a lot because I felt love, and felt grace, because I didn’t have to do all these things,” she said. Since Gloria pulled away from Mormonism, she has come to love her faith more and more. As a mainstream Christian, she is more eager to learn—to pray and to read her Bible. She likes her faith more now than she did as Mormon.
Another difference that Gloria has noticed between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity is in the heart of church leaders. Gloria’s father was a Mormon bishop, so she was familiar with Mormon church leaders at all levels. She believes that local church leaders—lower down on the hierarchy—were deceived. They sincerely believed and taught certain things, but they had been deceived. Higher up, church leaders were dishonest, Gloria said, and they took advantage of people. The Mormon church is rich and powerful, especially in the state of Utah. Growing up, Gloria was lied to by her church leaders, but now she feels her church leaders—at any level—are never dishonest.
Gloria did not tell her family that she had turned away from Mormonism for some time, but eventually when they would come visit it was hard to hide. Although she was afraid of their reaction, it turned out that her fears were unfounded. “They were very loving, and understood,” she said. Now, she said, “They treat me good, but I’m still the black sheep of the family.” Her sister is jealous of her freedom, because Mormons have so many strict rules—against coffee and things—but Gloria doesn’t have to earn her salvation.
“You don’t need to feel guilty about [your mistakes],” Gloria says. “God loves you and it’s by his grace you are saved.”
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